DewaKebaikan « أفضل موقع الويب في العالم

Sumber Sahih Lawak Sensasi dan Mendidik Minda

[Kelas KUSUT]

with 4 comments

Shalom Aleichem,

Ini adalah ruangan khas untuk Kelas Urang Sementung dan Urang Tongong (KUSUT).

Kelas akan dimulakan dengan KST001 iaitu penerangan tentang maksud dan tujuan Kelas KUSUT.

Maksud (Kamus Dewan + Kamus Dewa):
1. urang: orang
2. sementung: lembap, tongong, bebal, bodoh, tolol, dongok, koro, bangang, bahlul, jimbam.
3. jimbam: lembap (dlm gerak-geri, pelajaran, dll), tidak cerdas: gurunya sentiasa me­marahinya kerana lemah dan ~ dlm pe­lajaran; bagai si ~ hendak hilir prb orang yg lembap dlm sesuatu pekerjaan.

Misi: Mendidik minda orang-orang yang sementung, lembap, tongong, bebal, bodoh, tolol, dongok, koro, bangang, bahlul dan jimbam.

Visi: Mengurangkan orang-orang sementung dan tongong kepada kadar 2% daripada penduduk bumi.


Kita sambung terus ke kelas seterusnya.

KST002: [Maksud DJARUM]
06/04/2009 at 1:25pm | DewaKebaikan |

Fwd: Awas dengan rokok DJARUM!!!

Tahukah anda apakah maksud disebalik DJARUM?
DJARUM — Demi Jesus Aku Rela Mati.
Oleh itu janganlah hisap rokok DJARUM.
Sila sebarkan kepada sahabat-sahabat antum orang.


Maka akupun terus reply kepada Dewa Fwd tersebut: Eh, maksud “U” apa pula?
Dewa Fwd: DJARUM — Demi Jesus Aku Rela Untuk Mati.

DewaKebaikan: Kalau DJARUM tidak boleh hisap, rokok DUNHILL boleh atau tidak?
Dewa Fwd: Tidak boleh. DUNHILL — Dua Ustaz Naik Hotel Ingin Locok Locok.

DewaKebaikan: MARLBORO boleh?
Dewa Fwd: Juga tidak boleh. MARLBORO — Manusia Akan Ramai Lagi Bila Orang Rogol Orang.

DewaKebaikan: SALEM pula bagaimana?
Dewa Fwd: Langsung tidak boleh. SALEM — Saya Ada Lubang Engkau Mahu?

DewaKebaikan: Semua rokok tidak boleh. Apa pula yang mubah (harus)?
Dewa Fwd: L&M.

DewaKebaikan: Mengapa pula?
Dewa Fwd: L&M — Lailahaillallah & Muhammadurrasulullah.

DewaKebaikan: Ouh.



1. DJARUM ≠ Demi Jesus Aku Rela Mati.

2. Semua maksud DJarum, Marlboro, Salem, L&M adalah TIDAK BENAR dan diada-adakan.

3. Janganlah berhenti merokok disebabkan ‘maksud’ disebalik jenama rokok. Tetapi berhentilah kerana hukum perbuatan merokok, yakni HARAM.

4. Gambar-gambar kotak rokok adalah SEKADAR HIASAN.

5. Hukum-hakam:
(a) “Semua rokok tidak boleh.”
» SEMUA JENIS ROKOK tidak boleh dihisap = HARAM.

(b) “Apa pula yang mubah?”
» mubah = harus.

(c) Ayat (a) dan (b) tiada kaitan antara satu sama lain. Sebab itu aku letak noktah / titik.
» Maksud secara mendalam: “Semua rokok tidak boleh dihisap. Aku hendak berhenti merokok. Sekarang, apa yang mubah untuk masuk ke dalam mulut aku?”

(d) “L&M.”
» Jawaban: “Sayur-sayuran dan buah-buahan.”
» L&M adalah syarikat pengeluar sayur-sayuran dan buah-buahan.
» Mengapa kau malas hendak klik link tersebut?
» Kalau klik sekarang, sudah tiada lagi link itu (
» Link baru:

Screenshot pada 9 April 2009

6. Maksud L&M (ulang tayang)
(a) “Apa pula yang mubah?”
» Apa pula yang harus?

(b) “L&M”
» Sayur-sayuran dan buah-buahan.
» L&M adalah sekadar contoh syarikat yang mengeluarkan produk tersebut.

(c) “Mengapa pula?”
» Bertanya adalah kunci ilmu.

(d) “L&M — Lailahaillallah & Muhammadurrasulullah.”
» Agama Islam yang berteraskan keimanan kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya, telah menetapkan hukum memakan sayur adalah mubah (harus.)

Sekian, terima kasih.

Wabillahi taufik walhidayah. Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

DewaKebaikan: Mulai hari ini, aku ingin mengubah slogan website ini daripada “WEBSITE PALING AFDAL DI MUKA BUMI” kepada “SUMBER SAHIH LAWAK SENSASI DAN MENDIDIK MINDA.” Kekeke slogan website lama.


Written by DewaKebaikan

08/01/2011 at 6:54am

Posted in General

[Power Balance]

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PowerBalance sudah mengaku gelang mereka adalah scam.
GelangMagnet AC Kencingtium bila lagi?
Persoalan yang lebih penting lagi, di mana PPIM (Persatuan Pengencing Indera Makmor)?

Tak pasal-pasal PPIM pulak yang kono kekeke.

PowerBalance Admits Their Wristbands Are a Scam | Jesus Diaz |

I don’t think this would surprise anyone, but PowerBalance—manufacturers of plastic wristbands with hologram stickers on it—have admitted there is “no credible scientific evidence that supports [their] claims and therefore [they] engaged in misleading conduct.” Here’s their statement:

In our advertising we stated that Power Balance wristbands improved your strength, balance and flexibility.

We admit that there is no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims and therefore we engaged in misleading conduct in breach of s52 of the Trade Practices Act 1974.

If you feel you have been misled by our promotions, we wish to unreservedly apologise and offer a full refund.

To obtain a refund please visit our website or contact us toll-free on 1800 733 436

This offer will be available until 30th June 2011. To be eligible for a refund, together with return postage, you will need to return a genuine Power Balance product along with proof of purchase (including credit card records, store barcodes and receipts) from an authorised reseller in Australia.

This Corrective Notice has been paid for by Power Balance Australia Pty Ltd and placed pursuant to an undertaking to the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission given under section 87B of the Trade Practices Act, 1974.

They had to publish that in Australian media. The company has been under attack by consumer associations all over Europe because of their claims and scientific mumbojumbo, but this seems to be the first time in which a regulatory authority have made them admit that their claims are a fraud.

These PowerBalance wristbands remind me of the old magnetic wristbands my grandma used to wear in the 80s. They were able to cure anything, from rheumatism to diabetes, and they made people feel better because the metal vibrated in the same frequency as the planet does, whatever that means. Of course, these pseudo-scientific amulets have been made and distributed since the beginning of time, from “magic” stones to sanctified pendants made of holy chicken bones. These are just fancier versions of those, used by a new generation of gullible people.

Personally, I will keep using my magic Monster Cable necklace to keep my strength, balance and flexibility at their good old crappy levels. [PowerBalance]


Power Balance wristbands a sham: ACCC | Georgina Robinson | December 23, 2010

A wristband worn by high profile sports stars that claims to improve athletic performance has been exposed as a sham by the consumer watchdog.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has ordered Power Balance Australia to refund all customers who feel they were misled by the supposed benefits of Power Balance bands.

The wristbands were touted as providing better balance, strength and flexibility by working with the wearer’s “natural energy field”.

English cricketers Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Strauss, AFL bad boy Brendan Fevola, St Kilda captain Nick Riewoldt and NRL star Benji Marshall have all been known to wear the bracelets.

But ACCC chairman Graeme Samuel said in a statement: “Power Balance has admitted that there is no credible scientific basis for the claims and therefore no reasonable grounds for making representations about the benefits of the product.

“Its conduct may have contravened the misleading and deceptive conduction section of the Trade Practices Act 1974,” Mr Samuel said.

“When a product is heavily promoted, sold at major sporting stores and worn by celebrities, consumers tend to give a certain legitimacy to the product and the representations being made.”

The bands currently sell for $29.90 on the company’s website, down from $60 earlier in the year.

Mr Samuel also warned that retailers that continue to sell the products with misleading advertising or packaging would be open to action from the ACCC.

Last month an independent review panel that deals with complaints about breaches of the therapeutic goods advertising code found that violated the code.

Power Balance acknowledged it had breached the code and said the relevant claims had been removed from its website.

The company was also named in this year’s Shonky awards.

Consumer advocate group Choice found the bracelets were just rubber bands with plastic holograms.

“The band was tested at CHOICE under controlled lab conditions which showed it did little else than empty purchasers’ wallets,” Choice said in October.

Shonky for stronger, bendier, dumber…
Power Balance

With some reluctance, we highlight the inherent shonkiness of the Power Balance bracelet – reluctance, because when Australian Skeptics demonstrated on Today Tonight that it patently didn’t do anything, subsequent sales skyrocketed: apparently any publicity is good publicity after all.

The Power Balance band is basically a rubber band bracelet with a plastic hologram in it. Sorry – a “surgical grade silicone wristband” embedded with a hologram “based on the idea of optimizing the body’s natural energy flow, similar to concepts behind many Eastern philosophies. The hologram is designed to respond to the natural energy field of the body. The Mylar material at the core has been treated with energy waves at specific frequencies…” etc, etc. All this, and backed by a money-back guarantee.

But seriously: “surgical”, “specific frequencies”, “Mylar”, “Eastern philosophies”… What’s not to believe?

We CHOICE sceptics did our own testing under controlled laboratory conditions – after all, you can’t believe everything you see on TV – and verified the Skeptics’ findings. The money-back guarantee, however, did work. The only power this bracelet seems to have, placebo effect notwithstanding, is in tipping its distributor’s bank balance well and truly into the black – they’re reportedly raking it in. So, if a fool and his money are soon parted, there are apparently plenty of fools out there – and they’re all conveniently identified with a rubber band bracelet. If you see one, offer to sell them a bridge.

This just in: the ACCC exposes Power Balance as fake.

Written by DewaKebaikan

04/01/2011 at 1:13pm

Posted in General

[Maksud WTF]

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Bapa: Abah baru buka akaun Facebook. Sudikah kau accept friend request abah?
Anak: Abah buat akaun Facebook? WTF!!
Bapa: Apa maksud WTF?
Anak: Oh, maksudnya “Welcome to Facebook.”

Written by DewaKebaikan

13/12/2010 at 3:42pm

Posted in General

[Air → Kepala]

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Adakah imej ini menggambarkan situasi “air naik kepala?”

[A] Ya
[B] Tidak

1. (YouTube)

Written by DewaKebaikan

02/12/2010 at 2:31pm

Posted in General

[Bangang Jew]

with 9 comments

Soalan oleh blogniownerdiaorgcinatauindiataukeling:
01/10/2010 at 1:32am

mcm bangang jew la blog ni.sume tulisan2 kow mcm sampah.ko ni keling ekh?

Jawaban oleh DewaKebaikan:
23/11/2010 at 7:41pm (diubahsuai)

1. Jew yawng bawngang ataw blowg yawng bawngang?

2. Akuw rasew Jew pawndai, sewbab Jew bawnyak menewima hawdiah nowbel kewkewkewkew.

3. Lew… mawcam mawna sawdawa/sawdawi taw sayew ketuwunan kewling?

4. Sawdawa/sawdawi pewnah kewja diw Jawbatan Pewndaftawan Negawa kew?

5. Sebewna-bewna nyew, sayew adew ketuwunan Mawghribi, Swiam dan Indwia.

6. Akuw rasew sawdawa/sawdawi owang Mewlaka kowt? Lahabaw. Awhakzzz lowlzzz.


7. Aku mempunyai susur galur berikut:

Abdul Kadir (Moroccan)


Alang Kechik
+ Fatimah

+ Soleh




Saya (DewaKebaikan)

Muhammad Bin Abdul Kadir. (Klik untuk zum)

Alang Kechik Bin Muhammad. (Klik untuk zum)

Hamidah Binti Alang Kecik. (Klik untuk zum)

8. Siapa pandai cari nama aku, dia memang pandai kekekeke.

9. Maklumat tambahan: Nenek aku (ibu kepada bapa aku) mempunyai susur galur dari India.

10. Nama salah seorang moyang aku (beberapa keturunan atas) ialah Galagaji.

11. Sebenarnya, Tun Abdullah Badawi adalah tiga pupu aku.

12. Tiga pupu: Perhubungan persaudaraan antara orang yang moyang mereka adik-beradik.

13. Maka, Kamarudin dan Nori boleh dikira sebagai ‘anak saudara’ aku.

14. Khairy Jamaluddin, sila cium tangan aku!

15. Sesungguhnya, kebenaran itu adalah pahit. Harkhh tuihh, pahit gila.

Written by DewaKebaikan

26/11/2010 at 12:10pm

Posted in General

[Ahmad Saiful]

with 22 comments


Siapa Ahmad Saiful? Adakah dia seorang dewa kebaikan atau dewa kejahatan?

Email beliau yang memetik sebahagian daripada artikel aku, telah tersebar luas di Internet.



Sebutlah Uffin bukan Upin sebab Upin dalam bahasa Aramaic bermaksud “Aku benci Rasul.” Sebutlah Ariffin bukan Ipin sebab Ipin dalam bahasa Syriac bermaksud ” Aku suka Israel.”

Ini diburukkan lagi oleh penggunaan huruf “U” pada baju Upin dan “I” pada baju Ipin. “U” bermaksud “USA” “I” bermaksud “Israel”

Terbuktilah bahawa Upin & Ipin juga merupakan agenda tersembunyi Yahudi dalam melemahkan akidah umat Islam. Mereka menggunakan Upin & Ipin sebagai jarum halus terbaru setelah mereka gagal dalam misi Pokemon, Doraemon, Digimon dan Mamula Moon.




Ke hadapan Ahmad Saiful,

1. Sepatutnya kau letakkan gambar untuk memberikan kesan yang lebih dalam!

2. Mungkin kau minat dengan artikel aku dan terus share dengan rakan-rakan melalui email dengan tujuan membuat hoax.

3. Atau mungkin kau seorang yang slow. Kau menganggap aku segolongan dengan kau, yakni golongan “mat konspirasi” yang terlalu teruja dengan kewujudan illuminati / freemason / dajjal / Israel menakluk dunia.

4. Apa pun tujuannya, jangan lupa letakkan attribution kepada DewaKebaikan. Salah satu caranya,

Link semula ke

Sekiranya tidak, nanti kau “Kena pukul di pantat, gigi habis tanggal.”

5. Aku berharap, biarlah aku mati sebelum kemunculan dajjal.

6. Biarlah mat/minah konspirasi yang tidak sabar-sabar ingin berjumpa dajjal, membuat persiapan majlis khas, “The Arrival of Dajjal.”

7. Wahai mat/minah konspirasi, apabila dajjal muncul, kau pasanglah video The Arrivals.

8. ‘Mudah-mudahan’ dajjal insaf dan masuk Islam sebagaimana dakwaan mat/minah konspirasi, “ramai masuk Islam sebab menonton video The Arrivals.

Sekian, terima kasih.

Dr. DewaKebaikan
Pengerusi PUNDeK
Persatuan Ulamak Negeri Dewa Kebaikan

Gordon University ’99
BBA (Kajian Tarikh Lahir Dajjal)
Gordon University ’07
MBA (Dajjal Power Marketing)
Gordon University ’09
PhD (Metaphysics of Dajjal)


1. Makna perkataan

Ular dalam semak; Orang yg ahli (pakar) dlm pengetahuan konspirasi dajjal, illuminati, freemason, segi tiga dan bulatan: Imam Qolamul Haqqoq ialah seorang Ulamak yg terkenal; mengulamakkan menjadikan seseorang dungu, lembab dan tolol (DLT)

ii. DLT
Dungu, lembab, tolol / tongong, bebal, bodoh, dongok; Golongan yang menyokong / membantah membuta tuli: Ramai golongan DLT yang berfikir bahawa DewaKebaikan adalah penyebar konspirasi yang tidak berasas. Walhal DewaKebaikan memerli mereka.

Tidakkah kau perasan, DewaKebaikan menyatakan dalam ayat terakhir email fwd-nya , “Mereka menggunakan Upin & Ipin sebagai jarum halus terbaru setelah mereka gagal dalam misi Pokemon, Doraemon, Digimon dan Mamula Moon.” Itu adalah punch line.

Atau punch line yang aku buat itu sebenarnya tidak menjadi? 👿

iii. ULAMA
Orang yg ahli (pakar) dlm pengetahuan agama Islam: Imam Abu Hanafiah ialah seorang ~ Islam yg terkenal; mengulamakan menjadikan seseorang (golong-an) ulama: ~ intelektual; ® alim I.

2. Sesiapa yang pernah menerima email daripada Ahmad Saiful, tolong fwd-kan ke

Written by DewaKebaikan

23/11/2010 at 1:12pm

Posted in General

[Ujian Lisan]

with 3 comments

Ustazah: Ucapkan dua kalimah syahadah.
Murid: أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله
و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله

Ustazah: Berikan maksud dua kalimah syahadah.
Murid: Aku naik teksi bahawa tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah.
Dan aku naik teksi bahawa Nabi Muhammad pesuruh Allah.

Ustazah: Di manakah Nabi dilahirkan?
Murid: Kuala Lumpur.

Ustazah: Apakah nama ibu Nabi?
Murid: Tak ingat, cikgu.
Ustazah: Siti…
Murid: Nurhaliza.

Jawapan disediakan oleh Latify Osmany Saify Ezry Rizky bin Ghany Asry Yusufy (nickname: Loser / Gay). Beliau merupakan seorang murid di Tadika Mesra, Kampung Penajis dan berumur lima tahun.

Cerita ini adalah berdasarkan kepada kisah benar.

Written by DewaKebaikan

04/11/2010 at 1:02pm

Posted in General